Heaven Knows Newsletter – Issue 5

Your Faithful; Fun; Family Church

Heaven Knows Newsletter – Issue 5


Note from the Editor

Can you believe September is here already! Whilst the human world has been a bundle of panic, nature has flourished. So, let’s hope we can go back to a world that’s a little kinder to nature when things finally go back to normal.

Amy’s Grade Success


Amy Howarth has recently had her BTEC results and they are excellent! She has achieved a distinction star and a distinction in construction, and a distinction star in IT. 3 grades altogether. She is going on to do a multi-trade apprenticeship in construction starting in September. That is fantastic news considering how difficult it has been for students throughout lockdown. We wish her all the best in her career. Well done Amy!

Submitted by her Mum, Caroline

Recipe – Carrot Chips

I picked up this recipe from the Tasty app. It’s a free app and has videos on there that show you how to do the recipes too. Carrot chips are a great alternative to normal chips.

  • 2 carrots
  • Salt and Pepper (I use about a quarter tsp of salt and a little pepper)
  • 2 tbsp olive oil (this is a guide, use enough so they are well covered)
  • 1 tbsp fresh parsley
  • 1 tsp paprika
  1. Put the oven on 200 degrees (fan).
  2. No need to skin the carrots, simply chop them into batons/chip shapes. Don’t make them too thin.
  3. Chop up the fresh parsley and pop in a bowl with the rest of the ingredients. Throw in the carrots and coat in the mixture.
  4. Grab an oven tray, line with baking paper, pop the carrots on it and cook in the oven for 20-25 mins.

Written by Becky Vanden

It shouldn’t happen to a Tradesman – “Ladders”

Ladders are wonderful things; if you give a man a ladder, I guarantee he’ll reach new heights and no doubt will achieve a rise in his abilities with it! There is of course that old wives’ tale that it’s bad luck to walk under one which, if true, has given me a lifetime of bad luck as I’ve walked under them many times (maybe that’s why I haven’t won the lottery yet). The reality as we all know is that the chances of you being injured go up if you walk under a ladder as something may drop on you. Not so bad if it’s a drop of paint but not so good if the decorator comes with it. So, here’s a couple of stories about me and ladders.

I was once subcontracting to a nationwide maintenance company and myself and a colleague were sent up to the North East to carry out various repairs at various sites. We arrived at one of the jobs which was a betting shop and the repairs to be carried out were all up on the roof. It was obvious to both of us that the ladders we had with us were not tall enough to reach the roof, and after a bit of mutual complaining about the boss and his lack of organisational skills with booze ups in breweries, we formed a new plan.

The shop next door had a flat roof which we could easily reach with our ladder. The plan was to climb the ladder, hop over the small parapet, walk onto the flat roof and then walk up and over the betting shop pitched roof to reach the valley that we were there to repair. After a brief explanation to the shop owner next door, they granted us permission to use their roof and so we set up the ladder. Now for the benefit of the story I need to share a health and safety tip, when using ladders, you should always ensure that there are two or three rungs of the ladder sticking up past where you want to climb onto the roof, this gives you something to hold onto whilst moving from ladder to roof and likewise roof to ladder. This we had done, and the top of the ladder could clearly be seen above the short wall on the roof. With good access to the roof we dealt with the problems we had been sent to fix and soon and the roof valley was as good as new and we were ahead of schedule, happy days, an early finish on the cards.

It was then that we noticed the ladder had gone, this led to a small disagreement about who’s job it was to secure it to the building which showed that we were both thinking the same thing: we had assumed the ladder had been blown down or had fallen away from the building. This was not the case at all. Upon reaching the wall and peering over we realised the ladder had gone, someone had nicked it!


Neither of us, having faced this sort of problem before, could decide what to do. Do we call the police? Do we call the office? Or do we call the fire brigade? We called the shop manager on the chance he had a ladder or someone he knew had a ladder. No. We called a couple of colleagues to see if they were anywhere near us. No. Do we ask the audience, do we phone a friend?

There was no way we wanted to phone the fire brigade, neither of fancied being thrown over a fireman’s shoulder in front of hundreds of main street shoppers, we would never have heard the last of it. So, it was decided that we would phone a local roofing company and pay them to rescue us, and would you believe it, as if by magic a building contractor pulled up outside the betting shop whilst we were Googling local roofers.

To shouts of “Yo mate, any chance of a rescue” he laughingly agreed to help. Knights don’t always wear armour, ours had a bald head, beer belly and bum crack pants on, but what a guy. We all laughed together, when back on terra firma, and the builder explained “If you don’t nail it down, they’ll nick anything round here”, which leads nicely onto story number 2.

I was part of a team of guys working on a betting shop premise in Northern Manchester. The floor had all but collapsed due to rot and needed to be replaced but this had to be done through the night as a closed betting shop loses money, and the owners didn’t want that. There were probably around 6 or 7 vans at the job and most of them with ladders on the top including the one I was driving. Throughout the night there was a large gathering of kids generally making a nuisance of themselves outside the shop: climbing on the vans, emptying the waste out of the trailer and banging on the windows etc. As the night wore on the nuisance subsided and the kids slipped off and went home. As we all cracked on to get the job finished the sun came back up to reveal the mess outside. With the job finished we all went outside to pack our vans and clean up the mess the kids had left because they had emptied most of the rotten wood, the floorboards etc., from out of the large trailer we use as a towable skip, onto the surrounding pavement. I must say that we had a good laugh at the messages and drawings that had been drawn into the dirt on all the vans, although I won’t go into details. Then as one of the lads drove off, his ladder slid straight off his roof! The kids had unclamped them and no-one had noticed. With sore sides from laughing I climbed in my van and pulled away leaving the trailer behind, the kids had unhitched it, everyone was now rolling with laughter including me. As I firmly attached the trailer lock on the van, I didn’t notice my ladders had been unclamped as well and, yes you guessed it, a few yards down the road the van went one way and the ladders went another. Happy Days!

Written by Chris Garrattley



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When a Knight won his spurs – alternative version

During the prayers by phone, Karen talked about this hymn and how she loved the tune and the lyrics. Whilst researching its history, she found this version by Allan Ahlberg from a book called: Please Mrs Butler.

When a knight won his spurs in the stories of old,

He was – ‘Face the front, David Briggs, what have you been told?’

With a shield on his arm and a lance in his – ‘Hey! 

Is that a ball I can see? Put – it – a – way.’

No charger have I and – ‘No talking back there.

You’re supposed to be singing, not combing your hair.’

Though back into storyland Giants have – ‘Roy, 

this isn’t the playground, stop pushing that boy!’

Let faith be my shield and – ‘Who’s eating sweets here?

I’m ashamed of you Marion, it’s not like you dear.’

And let me set free with – ‘Please stop that Paul King.

This is no place for whistlers, we’d rather you sing!’

Submitted by Karen Garrattley

Bernard & Barbara McDonald celebrate 60th Wedding Anniversary

On the right is their wedding photograph.  Barbara at 25 years old was a shorthand typist with the Royal Insurance Company and Bernard at 22 was a Salford policeman. They were married at St Cuthbert’s RC Church, Withington, Manchester on the 27th August 1960 at 2:00pm followed by a reception at the Princess Parkway Hotel. On that afternoon there was a football Derby match between Manchester City and Manchester United at Maine Road.  It rained so hard that the match was abandoned because of a rain-soaked pitch. Meanwhile Bernard and Barbara were struggling to get wedding photographs on a rain-soaked bowling green at the Princess Parkway Hotel. They honeymooned in Bournemouth. We wish them lots of happy memories.

Written by Alfred Joyce

Thanks for reading

Edited by Becky Vanden