Heaven Knows Newsletter – Issue 2

Your Faithful; Fun; Family Church

Heaven Knows Newsletter – Issue 2


Note from the Editor

I had an overwhelming number of submissions which I thank you all for but there’s only so much space! I assure you if you didn’t make it into this one you will be in the next. The cut off date for submissions is 11pm on the 15th of the month. Anything received after then will be included in the following issue. Pictures to accompany are handy as it makes it more personal. Preferred pic formats: JPG/PNG. Preferred orientation: portrait.

Special 70th Celebrations


Valerie Davies enjoyed her 70th Birthday on 26th May with a day out locally. Congratulations from us all on this momentous occasion.

Jenny Burgess will celebrate her 70th birthday on the 14th July. Everyone at the church would like to congratulate her and wish Jenny all the best. God bless and have a wonderful day! When all this madness is over we look forward to celebrating with you both.

Knitting for Babies

These are the first size baby cardigans I have been knitting to keep me busy during lockdown. I have now run out of wool! Most of the blankets have been made by members of our CAMEO group.


As soon as I am able I will be taking them to the Early Essential charity in Chorlton where they will be made up into starter packs contained in a Moses basket along with toiletries for babies and mothers. They will be distributed to vulnerable mothers with new babies who may be homeless, escaping from domestic abuse or asylum seekers etc. Hopefully I shall be able to get them to the charity very soon so that they can be distributed to needy families. And I shall have to get myself some more baby wool.

Written by Barbara Leeming

The Beauty of Walkden Gardens

I guess that most will be aware of Walkden Gardens at the corner of Derbyshire Road and Marsland Road. It is within easy walking distance of where I live so I was able to visit it in the real quietness we experienced early on in the lockdown. The photographs show that even in mid-April the plantings and trees provide a great deal of colour and this continues onwards through the year because it has a rose planting, a fuchsia planting, and as one would expect: a herbaceous border. The photos mainly depict magnolia, cherry blossom and some early flowering shrubs. There is also a magnificent Wisteria Arch which comes into flower in late April / early May but I will save the pictures of that until the next issue. Oh and by the way as you can see there is a Japanese garden, ideal for a bit of mindfulness meditation. The photo is taken from a seat in an arbour which is ideally placed for this. One last thing if you go there do keep off the areas with little stones – they represent water!

Written by Chris Boyes

It shouldn’t happen to a Tradesman

After being asked to write something for this newsletter, I thought I would share some funny moments from my time working in the industry.

The Level, Level

I was once asked to fit a country style kitchen in a big old house in Stretford. It was to have solid wooden worktops. ‘I don’t want any of that chipboard stuff’ the client told me ‘and I want real doors on it too’. I must admit, I haven’t fitted any pretend cabinet doors and was amused by the description. A couple of days into the job, I arrived one morning to find my spirit level sat across the cabinets that had been fitted the day before. The client walked into the kitchen and asked me ‘are these cabinets level?’. ‘Yes’ I replied. ‘I levelled them with that level’ pointing to my level sat atop the cabinets. ‘But is that level, level?’ he asked. I stood there thinking ‘Is this a test, or has he just not had his cornflakes this morning’. I looked again at the level and sure enough, the little bubble was dead centre – it was level.


Smug mode kicked in as I moved the level around every cabinet on every wall I’d fitted the day before. It was all level. ‘Don’t worry, it’s all level’ I said, and as if by magic, the client pulls out another spirit level. ‘Well this here is my spirit level’ he says ‘and according to this level, that level’s not level because I checked it’ he said.

Now I have to admit, that at this point, the self-doubt kicked in and the smugness ran away. A little voice in my head said ‘Have you dropped your level? Is it bent? When was the last time you checked it’s level? What if he’s right?’ I needn’t have worried as he placed his level on top of my level. I could see that his was a mile out – slight exaggeration here – but it was out.

Now I appreciate that men like tools, they make us feel manly, and no man should ever ridicule another man’s tools, but there was a reputation atstake here, and it was mine.

I looked closer at this ‘accuser of a level’ and noticed it was a poor excuse of a level. It had paint all over it, probably been used as a stirring stick and by the look of it, a crow bar and a hammer as well. ‘Tread carefully Christopher’ I heard myself saying ‘Don’t upset the man that’s paying you’. I knew I had to take him, and his level, down gently. ‘Look I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we use another level, to check which level is level’ I said. ‘I haven’t got another level’ he said. ‘Well I’ve got a couple on the van, we can use one of those’ I replied. It was agreed and off to the van I went. I returned with 2 levels, just to be on the safe side. He chose one, and I set it down on the cabinet and guess what? It was level.

Written by Chris Garrattley

Puzzle Corner

Can you suss out the riddle?

  1. I have cities, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I?
  2. What disappears as soon as you say its name?
  3. What gets wet whilst drying?

Answers at the bottom of the blog

Prayers by Phone

Prayers by Phone is a wonderful way for all worshippers at Ashton to continue to worship together. Any phone can be used; it is just the cost of a local call; our Service is every Sunday at 10.15am.

Contact Pam for more info.

Help us keep the roof on


If you can afford to still contribute your weekly free will offering we would greatly appreciate it. We are struggling more than ever with our bills, and the roof is leaking which is made even worse with the recent weather conditions. Please visit our Just Giving page, make a bank transfer or ask your nominated elder and ask them to collect your cash or cheque. Our bank details are as follows:

Bank details-  RBS |Sort code: 16 -30 – 32 | Account number: 11180210

Thank you

Answers: 1. A Map 2. Silence 3. A Towel

Edited by Becky Vanden